Saturday, October 4, 2008

Water and Me

Original:
“My little kid, I hope you will be a person like water in the future.” When I was a little girl, my grandma told me significantly. At that time, I was too young to understand what my grandma said so I asked naively, “Grandma, what’s that?” “My child, water has many characteristics which you may follow. Water seems weak but can wear away a stone day after day, it’s a kind of perseverance. Water cleans us but dirties itself, it’s like a characteristic as human being-obliging.” My grandma smiled and stroked my hair lightly and said. As I’m growing up, I’m getting what my grandmother’s meaning and keeping them as my characteristics. I have the characteristics which water has: persevering and obliging.

Rewrite:
“My little kid, I hope you will be a person like water in the future.” When I was a little girl, my grandma told me significantly. At that time, I was too young to understand what my grandma said so I asked naively, “Grandma, what’s that?” “My child, water has many traits which you may follow as your characteristics. Water seems weak but can wear away a stone day after day, it’s a kind of perseverance. Water has no shape itself but it has different shapes in different containers. That’s to say, water can easily adapt to different environment. Just like those person who adapt quickly to a new environment.” My grandma smiled and stroked my hair lightly and said. As I’m growing up, I’m getting what my grandmother’s meaning and keeping them as my characteristics. I have the characteristics which water has: persevering and having the ability to adapt quickly to new environment.

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